Why Some People Stay Fit and Others Feel Like They’re Always Starting Over
Meaningful Movement
Takeaway: When stress hits, we don’t rise to the level of our desires. We fall to the level of our defaults.
Why Some People Stay Fit and Others Feel Like They’re Always Starting Over
She’s a doctor. Highly educated. Compassionate. Successful by any measure.
And yet, halfway through our coaching call—mid-sentence, mid-thought—she stopped.
Then asked a vulnerable question:
“Why is it so easy for other doctors to stay fit… and I can’t even lose five pounds?”
No dramatics. No edge in her voice. Just tired. Worn down from the weight of spinning her wheels for years.
And I know she’s not the only one.
A lot of people feel this way—like they’re doing something wrong because everyone else seems to be doing it right. Same careers. Same responsibilities. Same life stage.
But somehow, it feels like they’re drowning while others are coasting.
So here’s what I told her:
When stress hits, we don’t rise to the level of our desires. We fall to the level of our defaults.
That’s the difference.
Not willpower. Not intelligence.
Not hustle or grind or some special kind of motivation.
It’s defaults.
The routines you fall back on when life feels like too much.
Some people, through years of trial and error, have trained themselves to rely on movement, structured meals, and sleep as coping tools. So when stress shows up, those tools are already within reach. It’s not that they’re stronger. It’s that they’ve practiced longer.
Others? They’ve been surviving stress by skipping meals, skipping rest, numbing out with food or Netflix, or charging through the chaos on caffeine and grit. And when the storm rolls in, their nervous system reaches for what it knows.
Not because they’re lazy.
Not because they’re broken.
Because that’s the pattern.
And patterns can be rewritten.
That’s exactly what this doctor is doing now. Not because her life suddenly got easier. It hasn’t. She’s just stopped waiting for things to calm down.
She’s learning how to build better defaults in the middle of the storm.
That’s real growth. Not the kind you show off in before-and-after photos.
But the kind you feel, in quiet moments that don’t seem all that special until you realize you never used to do them.
Tracking your meals even when no one’s watching.
Going for a walk when collapsing on the couch would be easier.
Making your breakfast the night before because tomorrow’s going to be a lot.
These aren’t just habits. They’re declarations.
Little signals to your nervous system that say, “This is who I am now.”
So if it feels harder for you than it does for others, don’t assume you’re failing.
You’re rewriting the story while you’re still living in the middle of it.
That counts.
That’s worth being proud of.
That is the work most people never do.
Keep going.
~ Coach Alex
P.S. Reply to this email if you’re ready to rewire your defaults and build the version of you that stress can’t undo.