Season Finale: From Darkness, A Dawn of New Beginnings

Takeaway: A glimpse into the season finale of this chapter of my life.

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As this message is being sent to you, I am sitting in my car driving to the East Coast, many of my belongings in the trunk of my car as I make the trek to my new home.

I‘ve lived my entire life in Michigan, attending college, starting a business, enjoying all of life’s major milestones in a place so familiar to me. What feels like many lifetimes of memories have shrunk to fit the size of my rearview mirror.

Why was it time to leave all of that behind?

On Top of The World

If you know me then you know the smile on my face. The radiant, positive energy. The light-hearted humor and unbothered nature of my personality.

I am a genuinely happy person. I’d go so far as to say I felt on top of the world. Not many people can say they have everything they’ve ever wanted in life. I’d successfully accomplished all of the things I dreamt about as a teenager.

Then seven months ago, in what felt like a single moment, much of those things were wiped away. They vanished like the light of an extinguished star when my engagement suddenly and unexpectedly ended, leaving nothing but cosmic debris and darkness. Remnants of what once existed.

Overnight, I fell from the top of the world to feeling its crushing weight. A life I built and loved gone in an instant.

Picking Up The Pieces

Home wasn’t home anymore. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel like I had a place to call home. I became a wanderer, searching for something. So I did what wanderers do: I packed up and explored.

I traveled alone to Portugal with no plan other than where I was staying and how I was getting there. I met amazing people who helped me process what was happening and helped me explore new parts of myself, even if they didn’t realize their impact at the time.

I continued to travel, trying new activities that scared me. Along the way I met new people who enriched me. I became accustomed to living out of a suitcase, hardly unpacking before jumping on another plane. I embraced whatever situations presented themselves. Without the safety net of home, the world was reduced to what was happening right in front of me. A mindful presence I’d not ever experienced before.

I learned to appreciate the little things. I’d stop and take in a view I’d previously walk past without a second thought. I started to document those small moments in the photographs I share online.

All the while, I mourned the life I’d lost, like a loved one passing unexpectedly in the night. Periods of great fondness sporadically met with periods of immense grief.

I developed a new level of perspective unlike anything I’d known before. A new level of empathy and an acute understanding of what actually matters—and what doesn’t. I find myself, counterintuitively, more relaxed, more impermeable to the daily stresses that used to weigh me down.

Etched In Stone

In difficult times it is often our interpretation of events that dictates how easily we bounce back. In my period of wandering, reflection, and exploration I was reminded of the book by anthropologist Joseph Campbell, “A Hero With A Thousand Faces.”

In this book, Campbell shares his lifetime of research studying the myths, legends, and stories passed through generations of people from all parts of the world. He found that no matter the region, culture, or even time period in which these stories existed, they all share an eerily similar plot structure. Campbell named it, “The Hero’s Journey.”

(This may sound familiar, as I’ve written about it in the past.)

This hero’s journey begins with someone, the hero, yearning for more out of life. Due to circumstances—responsibilities, obligations, fears—they prevent themselves from taking the next step. They never allow themselves to begin the journey.

This desire within our hero grows, but nothing changes until some external force eliminates all potential excuses. Then our hero is forced into action. What follows is the first step in a life-altering journey.

We are all the hero of our own story. In reality, we relive the hero’s journey many times over during the span of our life. Like renewed seasons of our favorite TV shows, each with its own plot, challenges, and triumphs.

I’ve wanted to move out of Michigan for as long as I can remember—at least fifteen years. I’m a firm believer that you learn about yourself in a way that is unique and specific to living away from your hometown. You experience personal growth that you can’t get from travel alone.

For one reason or another—work, relationships, comfort—I’ve remained here, in Ann Arbor, for thirty years. I’ve yearned to experience a life away from the mitten state, away from the familiar, the comfortable, and the known. This journey is my Saudade, my longing.

With all of my excuses eliminated, I packed my belongings and I’m leaving on a new adventure.

New Beginnings

My next journey takes me to the East coast, along the shores of New Jersey.

Who’s to say whether my leaving Michigan is permanent? I can’t predict where this journey will take me. But know this: There’s no riding off into the sunset as you read this.

No, dear reader. I’m riding East into the sunrise, toward new beginnings, a fresh start.

I am leaving my hometown as the highest form of myself I’ve ever experienced. These trials and tribulations of the past few months have given me the clearest picture of myself, my deepest sense of perspective.

This is not the end of my story. It’s merely the closing of a chapter. As the sun rises—beams of light streaking through my windshield, fond memories replaying in the rearview mirror—I slide on a pair of sunglasses, turn the dial up on the radio, and a smile flashes across my face.

Dr. Seuss had a famous line about smiles. Maybe he was right.

~ Coach Alex

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