How To Stop Feeling Mistreated
Mindset Monday
Takeaway: What you tolerate trains others how to treat you. Retrain the people in your life on what is acceptable. Do this by setting and enforcing your boundaries.
What you tolerate teaches others how to treat you.
This is a message about setting boundaries.
In the workplace, you might struggle to keep up with the growing demands of your job, thinking that in a short time things will get better. Your boss will realize how hard you’ve been working and take some tasks off your plate. In reality, you hustle shows management that you are capable of doing more work, so they continue to fill your plate with a stressful amount of work. It never ends.
In your relationship, you feel like your partner is mistreating you or failing to acknowledge and fix hurtful behavior. By always being forgiving of this unacceptable behavior, you are training your partner to understand there are no repercussions. The hurtful behavior continues.
With your friends, someone is always running late and holding up the group, but the group always waits and adjusts the schedule for this one person. This teaches the chronically late that it’s ok to continue this behavior because the group will always wait for them.
With yourself, you want to make healthy lifestyle changes. You want to eat better and exercise more, but you always let yourself find a reason to procrastinate or skip the gym. You are training yourself to think it’s ok to skip your workouts.
In each of the above scenarios, you are tolerating unacceptable behavior from yourself or others—and inadvertently showing others that you’re willing to put up with the behavior. There’s no reason for them to change, so they most likely won’t.
If you want to be treated better then you need to retrain others how to treat you. Setting and enforcing clear boundaries is how you accomplish this.
~ Coach Alex