Feeling Insecure In The Gym? You're Not Alone
Deep Dive
Takeaway: Entering a gym for the first time (or even the first time in a long time) can feel intimidating. This is true even for someone who is used to spending time in gyms. In this article, you’ll learn to recognize common reasons for this insecurity, as well as tools to help overcome this anxiety to make the gym a less scary place.
Feeling Insecure In The Gym? You’re Not Alone
Entering a gym for the first time (or even the first time in a long time) can feel intimidating.
And this is true even for someone who is used to spending time in gyms.
Every time I travel to a new city and have to enter an unfamiliar gym, I find myself filled with nerves and anxiety. And I rate myself as being incredibly comfortable in the gym environment.
What does this mean for the average person who doesn’t spend every day in a gym?
Is it common to feel insecure at the gym?
The truth is that it’s more common to feel insecure in the gym than many people realize, especially if you’re new or entering an unfamiliar environment. This occurs for a few reasons:
As social creatures, it’s normal for humans to feel insecure entering a space that is unfamiliar.
Are there dangers? Will I be accepted by the existing community? Will I break a rule or look silly for not knowing a key piece of information?
These fears are ingrained in each of us, and can present themselves in a new gym environment.
Additionally, the psychological phenomenon known as the “spotlight effect” also plays a role in your gym insecurities.
The spotlight effect is the phenomenon where you tend to believe you are being noticed by others more than you actually are. It also relates to your actions being watched and judged. It occurs as a byproduct of your consciousness.
Since you are the only conscious voice you can process, you tend to carry the belief that you are the center of your own universe–placing undue weight on your own thoughts and actions compared to others.
Especially for new gym goers, the fear of making a mistake in front of others can be very daunting.
What if you use a piece of equipment wrong? What if you embarrass yourself? What if the people in better shape judge you for not being in as good of shape?
These are all fears that can exist in your mind, leading to feelings of insecurity.
What are some of the specific ways men and women feel insecure in the gym?
Being out of shape compared to their peers.
The gym, whether intentional or not, can sometimes become a competitive environment. For someone who is just beginning or entering a new facility, it is possible to feel insecure about being outcompeted by their peers. (Which can result in negative judgments as noted above.)
Doing something wrong and embarrassing themselves.
Using a piece of equipment wrong, dropping something, or even injuring yourself.
Breaking an unwritten social norm.
The gym, like any environment, has its own set of custom and unspoken norms. It’s possible that someone not privy to these can be concerned about breaking them and being ostracized or criticized by the normal members of that community.
Most obvious, it’s also common for men and women to feel insecure about their body.
For those who are overweight, insecurities can arise about their body being in certain positions and the potential movement of body parts–intentional or not. (For example, excessive skin movement during jumping jacks or another high impact exercise, or a stomach roll forming during an abdominal exercise.)
If you’re battling insecurity in the gym, what are some things you can start doing to alleviate those insecurities?
First, start by recognizing the presence of the spotlight effect and be aware of your hyper-awareness of others’ attention to you.
For the most part, people usually just pay attention to themselves. It can be helpful to remind yourself of this anytime you feel insecurities arise.
If you’re insecure about how your body looks or moves, you can also choose exercises that reduce the chances of being in an uncomfortable position.
If you have a lot of excess skin, avoiding high impact (i.e. jumping) exercises in a crowded gym can avoid an uncomfortable situation.
If you’re overweight, avoiding floor exercises and opting instead for machines that keep you upright can help with difficulties getting off the floor.
Conversely, if fitting into a machine is uncomfortable, choosing to use free weights can help avoid an insecurity with your body.
Learn gym norms.
Outside of gym rules—the posted rules regarding behavior and etiquette—it can be helpful to learn the unspoken norms of the gym you visit.
This can be accomplished by either watching other gym members and how they behave, or you can simply ask another member or staff if you have a question.
Common unspoken gym norms include things like (to name a few):
Using equipment for its intended purpose.
Not using equipment in certain areas of the gym.
Not hogging equipment during peak gym hours.
Wiping down equipment after use.
Letting others work in with you during busy times.
Are there things to avoid that cause you to stand out at the gym?
Here are a few pieces of advice to avoid unnecessarily standing out at the gym:
Breaking unspoken gym norms.
Falling prey to the spotlight effect.
Not being friendly to other members.
Judging yourself for your current fitness level.
Wrongfully believing you don’t belong in the gym with everyone else, in shape or not.
If you’re worried about standing out in the gym, here are a few ways to indoctrinate yourself:
Begin with a few introductory sessions with a trainer. Not only can they show you proper use of the equipment, but they can also teach you the social norms and expected behavior. This can expedite the learning process so that you feel you fit in faster.
Take a group class. You’ll get some of the same insights from the instructor, but can also observe the behaviors of your classmates.
Recruit an experienced friend. If you have a friend who is experienced in gyms, inviting them to tagalong can help you get acquainted with the equipment and environment alongside someone who can show you the ropes.
Ask a staff member if you’re unsure about something. While asking for help can itself feel intimidating, most gym staff members are very polite and happy to help you feel at ease.
The good news is that most gyms function the same, so once you learn the rules of one you can easily fit in at any gym you visit.
The important thing to keep in mind is that the anxiety and insecurity you feel in the gym is created by you. At best, other members are happy to see you. At worst, they’re too focused on themselves and indifferent to your presence.
Either way, you’re likely to find no one is judging you.
P.S. Want to get back in the gym but have no idea how to start? Click below to get in touch and we will help give you some advice. This may include a trainer referral in your area, or as simple as some advice on how to choose a gym.