Fat Kid To Fitness Competitor
Deep Dive
Takeaway: That fitness show was my closing chapter on my past life and struggle with obesity. It was the epic conclusion of struggling with my weight and being constantly fearful of going back to that place. It was also the introduction of balance into my life.
Fat Kid To Fitness Competitor
On October 8th, 2016, I competed in my first physique fitness show.
A physique show is a bodybuilding-type event where you are judged on stage (in either board shorts or short compression shorts) based on a series of poses you complete to show off your body—muscularity, leanness, symmetry.
I have been involved in fitness for over a decade, putting my body through rigorous challenges to test my physical limits. Yet, for years, I had never been interested in stepping on stage to compete in what I deemed to be too superficial a contest for my interests.
So why, then, did I endure an exhausting preparation plan that included a very low-calorie diet, mental struggles with how I looked and what I ate, and even a case of pneumonia?
From Fat To Fit
My reasons for competing are certainly not your typical reasons.
Some people compete in fitness shows because they genuinely love the sport of bodybuilding, the challenge of sculpting a symmetrical and muscular physique.
Others do it for more vanity purposes—they love looking good and telling everybody about it.
Others yet do it just to see what it is like, or as a challenge of their mental fortitude.
I, however, had very different reasons for competing.
I grew up as an obese kid.
At twelve-years-old, my pediatrician told me and my parents that my weight was so high it was literally off the chart—the literal graph they had printed to show the a normal weight and height distribution.
This struggle with my weight continued well into high school. I won’t discuss the details of why I finally got in shape in this post (if you want to know more about my weight loss story you can watch it here).
Suffice it to say, that over a 15-month period beginning my senior year in high school, I lost over 80 pounds through diet and exercise.
Ask any overweight person what they think about stepping, half-naked, onto a stage in front of a crowd of random people to be judged based solely on their body, and they will tell you that is literally the most terrifying thing they could imagine.
(As I imagine it is for some people who aren’t overweight too.)
As a formerly obese kid, the thought of being judged based on how my body looks is a terror-inducing concept.
It wasn’t until the year or two prior that I even developed enough confidence to be comfortable taking my shirt off in public.
Leading up to that event, I still had a deep fear of going back to that place—giving up, returning to old habits, and putting all the weight back on.
This fear had left me struggling with my food choices and incessantly exercising (sometimes even to the point of injury).
The Role of The Fitness Show
So, what was this fitness show to me?
Why did I decide to go through the intense preparation process, get the goofiest looking spray tan (#pumpkinspice), and shave my beard for the first time in the better part of a decade?
Competing in that fitness show was not about winning.
That show was my closing chapter on my past life and struggle with obesity. It was the epic conclusion of struggling with my weight and being constantly fearful of going back to that place.
It was also the introduction of balance into my life. Learning to recognize that there is more to life than fitness and working out. Learning to strike a balance between pursuing my fitness goals and enjoying the rest of my life.
Being able to indulge in “bad” foods that I love every now and again, without feeling extreme guilt or the need to “make-up for it later.”
A New Journey Begins
For me this competition was the end of an era and a mindset, and the beginning of a new one.
I will still put everything I have into pursuing whatever fitness goals I may have at the time, but I will also enjoy a few donuts and some downtime when life calls for it.
I will live my life knowing I have finally conquered my obesity, both physically and mentally.
It was an incredibly liberating feeling being able to go on stage in a swimsuit, under bright stage lights, knowing all eyes were on me. I shed all of my fears about what the audience would think.
Many competitors were there to be judged—I was there to be freed.
The nine months of dieting and eight weeks of intense training for this show left me a little lost at its conclusion.
Where do I go from here? What do I do next?
It is a feeling I constantly address with many of my clients when they reach their fitness goals and are tasked with coming up with new ones. As I think about what my next fitness quest will be, I can do so without the fear of my past life returning.
Fat Alex was officially laid to rest.
[Originally published on Breakingmuscle.com, May 2017]
P.S. There is no better feeling than conquering a challenging goal. If you’ve struggled with your health for too long and feel lost, confused, or frustrated at the process, we can help.
Click here to book your free weight loss strategy call to learn how our process is different, and how it might be the difference you need to achieve your goals.