How To Have Better Conversations (2/3)
The "Tell Me MORE" Approach
Takeaway: Once you’ve mastered conversation threading, try applying this more advanced technique to enhance your conversations.
If you missed it, check out part one of this article series by clicking here.
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The "Tell Me MORE" Approach
In the first part of this series you were introduced to conversation threading. It is my personal favorite strategy to keep a conversation smoothly flowing. I love conversation threading because it ensures you’re actually listening to what is being said to you, instead of thinking about what you’re going to say next.
Once you’ve mastered conversation threading, you can consider this next strategy. Originally proposed by author Patrick King in a slightly different iteration, the MORE approach is another great impromptu conversational strategy you can use to spark ongoing, quality chats with your companions.
Based on the response you receive, you can respond with either: a Memory, an Opinion, or a RElated story.
Similar to conversation threading in part one, the MORE approach allows you to pivot the direction of the conversation in any number of directions.
I would consider this a more advanced technique than conversation threading because it requires more recall on your part. Again, avoid the risk of getting lost in what you want to say that you forget to actually listen to the person you’re talking to.
Here’s how it works:
Memory
Sharing a memory allows you to share a personal history relevant to the same topic. This is the most straightforward avenue and the most similar to conversation threading.
Friend: "Alex, I had the craziest experience at the gym the other day. I swear I almost saw someone lose an arm doing something wrong."
Alex: "Wow! That reminds me of a time I saw someone nearly squish themselves with too much weight..."
Opinion
Sharing an opinion about a topic can lead to greater depth in conversation. Always be mindful when offering opinions on potentially sensitive topics. The last thing you want is to anger or alienate the people you're trying to connect with.
Friend: "Alex, I had the craziest experience at the gym the other day. I swear I almost saw someone lose an arm doing something wrong."
Alex: "I can't believe it. That's why I avoid going to the gym when it’s crowded..."
Related Story
Sharing a related story allows you to steer the direction to a new topic. This is great if you are beginning to sense a dullness in the conversation, or if you find yourself on a topic you wish to avoid.
Friend: "Alex, I had the craziest experience at the gym the other day. I swear I almost saw someone lose an arm doing something wrong."
Alex: "Ouch! That reminds me of the movie '127 Hours' where the guy got his arm trapped on a mountain… I can’t even imagine!”
A related story should include some relevant idea of the original subject in order to create the bridge between statements. In the above example, this bridge is the theme of an injured arm. It is used to create a mental bridge to new topics of movies, mountain climbing, etc. Randomly jumping to an entirely unrelated idea will come across as a bit strange.
If you tried conversation threading and feel pretty comfortable with that technique, take your conversation skills to the next level and try the tell me MORE approach.
Good Luck,
~ Coach Alex