A Wake Up Call That Changed My Entire Perspective On Life
Takeaway: Don't take life for granted. Grab ahold of those you love as if you won’t ever see them again. Take a risk to do something you’ve been afraid to do, before it's too late. Leave it all on the table.
A Wake Up Call That Changed My Entire Perspective On Life
It was Saturday, September 14th, 2019.
I was visiting friends for a pizza-making party. We had Autumn-themed cocktails, four different pizza creations, good music playing softly in the background, and good conversation. It was an otherwise perfect evening.
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.
It was Saturday evening, I should have been off the clock. When it comes to my clients, I'm never off the clock. I'm passionate about what I do and enjoy being able to help people transform their lives.
But this wasn't a client texting.
It was a former client whom I hadn't worked with in years. She and I kept in contact via Facebook. She would update me on her progress and occasionally ask for advice on her program. It was always nice to hear from her, to know she was still determined and making progress toward her goals.
In fact, we had just spoken the day before. She’d sent me a message sharing that she had broken her femur in a freak accident. She was discouraged, frustrated, and scared of losing all her progress over the next few weeks as she prepped for surgery.
She was scheduled for surgery that day to get her broken leg repaired.
But it wasn’t her texting me that Saturday evening. It was her husband. He knew we had stayed in touch, and he reached out to tell me that she died on the operating table that afternoon.
I was in shock, having to catch myself on the back of the couch as I sank into my feet. So many thoughts and feelings were racing through my head, and in the background I hear nothing but laughter and discussion about pizza toppings.
It provided new meaning to the idea that everyone you encounter is going through something at any moment in time—some good, and some very, very bad.
I decided to wait to tell anyone until the night was over and I headed back home. I didn't want to ruin the mood of the evening. I put a smile on my face and even participated in some of the laughter. In the back of my mind my thoughts were racing.
None of my behavior that night—the smiles and laughter—was fake, quite the contrary. I think it was more genuine than ever. I had just been hit with a brash reminder that life is all too precious. I was feeling sad, but also grateful for the life I have.
Denice was my client's name. She was an amazing woman. She was fiercely proud of her family, spending most of our sessions together bragging about a recent achievement of her husband or son (both firefighters), or one of her two daughters.
Denice would walk into each training session, giddy like a kid on Christmas morning, so excited to tell me about some new physical activity she had just discovered she could do again. I couldn't help but light up right along with her.
She made the best zucchini bread, and would frequently bring me some when her family got sick of it. (I knew this was an excuse, I can't imagine anyone ever getting sick of the stuff. I know she had to fight them off in order to have any left to bring me.)
I attended her funeral the following week to pay my respects. I haven't been to too many funerals in my life, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I asked my mom for some advice (because you're never too old to ask your parents for advice), and she made a really great point.
She said: “It's important to share good memories about the person, especially ones that the family members might not otherwise know about.”
I'd like to share a wonderful story about how Denice personally inspired me.
Not long before this, I was in a bit of an existential crisis of my own. I think we all go through rough patches that cause us to question how things are, and this was one that was weighing on me pretty heavily.
In the midst of this crisis, at one of my roughest points, I received one of those random Facebook messages from Denice.
We hadn't spoken in months, but she sent me a message that said:
"Alex, I'm back to working out. I keep hearing a voice telling me, 'To keep going, that I've got this.' It's your voice."
That was it. This message, in so few words carried such a powerful reality check for me.
It reminded me of my purpose, a simple example of the potential impact I can have on the people I work with, and how that can translate into the impact they, in turn, leave on the world.
Denice did something special that day, and she won't ever know the impact she made.
I'm glad I get to share this memory, with her family and now with all of you, as a testament to this special woman. A memory of a moment that would otherwise be lost between her and I.
To Denice, thank you for sharing those simple words that put things back into perspective for me.
To you, dear reader, don't take life for granted. Grab ahold of those you love as if you won’t ever see them again. Take a risk to do something you’ve been afraid to do, before it's too late.
Share the good memories of your loved ones before they’re gone. Compliment strangers. Tell people when they’ve made a positive impact on your life.
Leave it all on the table.
~ Coach Alex
I love that story. Thank you for sharing!